Tonight was spaghetti night in my house.
Let me tell you about what this brings back to me this evening...
When I was about 4 years old, my Sicilian Grandmother (Nonni) lived with us. I was the baby of the family and she loved to spend time with me teaching me how to do what she did best...cook italian. What she helped create in me, out of "so much love", ended up being my biggest life issue. FOOD. The LOVE of food, love of preparing food, love of tasting food, especially the love of feeding others and watching them delight in the amazing flavors that I can create because of my Nonni..
This is really hard for me to explain, but I will try. I feel like I honor my Nonni when I cook the things she taught me and I love love eating the things I can create, but at the same time it is "these things" that are making me fat and unhealthy.
Tonight I had another approach...I prepared the meals for my family,
I watched as my Dad ate my spaghetti with tomato basil sauce and I watched as my husband ate his spaghetti with meat sauce and sausage, AND I prepared my phase 2 meal...It was super hard for me not to want some spaghetti, but when I didn't give in to the want, I also took note of how powerful that made me feel. "I HAVE CONTROL OVER ME AND MY CHOICES"!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've had lots of tough things happen to me, but it's not someone else's fault I let myself get this heavy. I am no longer into beating myself up though. I am unquestionably holding myself VERY ACCOUNTABLE for MY OWN BEHAVIOR from this day forward...(my committment to myself)
It feels so freakin good to say that I cannot even tell you...............
To all my AffordableHCGDiet ladies, the ones who are always here...you know who you are...I love you and appreciate you more and more each day...thanks for walking this with me :)
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